Grateful. Grateful that unlike like last year, there was no April Fool's joke played on me. Last year's April Fool's prank was so big, so monumental, so many people involved unbeknownst to me. What my daughter and her then boyfriend played on me was just the tip of the iceberg to what was an orchestration by my daughter and her Dad to destroy me. Damn near did. The next 29 days they put me through a hell I will never forget. They would make sure that I was left with nothing...no friends, no home, no family, no son and no money. They went far and they went deep to cut my heart out...
A year later and I am blessed to not have any April Fool's Day prank pulled on me.
A year ago, I never knew that I would never have another normal conversation with my daughter again. I didn't know that her deep desires would wreck me as a person...that because of her I would lose my husband (I know, I know - that should have happened 14+ years ago and he continued to give me reasons to leave him but because of this girl and her brother, I chose to stay because I valued my family more than anything even if their Dad could care less. Pot smoking and porn was always more important, or at least those things played a close second to being a big shot around town). So this girl, at 18, was able to make it her decision, not mine, that my marriage would end, that my family would end, that I would lose my home, I would lose most of my closest friends, I would lose my reputation, I would lose my mental health and more.
You might ask where was her Dad in all of this? Wouldn't a Father step in and for lack of better words, give her a swift kick to the rear? Afraid not. He had snapped. And his desire to destroy me and blame me for all of his life's failures would fall on me. It was way more important to destroy me so he would look like the good guy and I would look like a crazy person...funny, how he was able to convince my best friends and my son. These were the same friends that we traveled with, camped with, spent weekends with, hung out, had deep conversations and all it took for them to walk away was my husband's reaching out to them as a victim with his slippery, slimey ways and they believed him....
Little did I know that I would not be able to share my story with the people I would meet without them questioning me...As I got better, I realized that the people I were meeting along the way, thought I must have done something horrible to deserve the fate I received. I met with therapists that didn't believe me and 7 months later, I am still trying to convince my lawyer that my husband and 2 kids lied and set out to destroy me.
A year later. With the exception of my lawyer, I no longer need to convince anyone of who I am. I should have walked away from my lawyer because it made for an unhealthy client relationship between us 2. That has gotten better because I am getting more direct. Plus I realize that I am unable to convince him if his mind is already made up...the judge, their lawyer all believed them...why wouldn't he?
I have a wonderful therapist now, been with her for almost 4 months - I didn't have to convince her either.
I have also been blessed with a family that has supported me and provided for me. I am forever grateful for that.
I am also so thankful that my Lord carried me through when I didn't think I could. He continues to walk with me and lead my way.
Yes, its been a year. Over the next 29 days there will be a lot of year markers. I am ready. I am happy where I am. Today. Still got some hurdles to get through but am able to face them and be ready for what lies ahead.